Break a Leg!


Part I

Therese Szymanski

“If I leave, I won’t be coming back!” Frank yelled vehemently.

“I don’t want to hear it,” Ellen said over her shoulder, telling us all to tell it to the hand.

Frank turned toward Kathy and I and bowed, accepting our silent applause.

The audience burst into cheers, finally realizing exactly what was happening, and what had happened.

And the applause died out...

...leading to silence...

I looked anxiously about, having entirely forgotten whose line it now was. It couldn’t be Frank’s, because he had exited, and wasn’t due back on for a while... or was he?

Maybe Ellen said something, a belated parting line to him?

Or was now when Kathy burst into laughter?

But Kathy was already doubled-over with laughter, so it couldn’t be her line, now could it?

But Ellen wasn’t saying anything.

So maybe I was the reason for the sudden silence.

The audience was silent, Kathy was doubled-over laughing, and was about to burst a gut if she couldn’t find a reason to stop soon, and I was staring out over this audience full of people waiting expectantly for the next laugh.

Maybe it would help if I just imagined them all naked?

Or maybe I should just say something -- anything?


Part II

Peggy J. Herring

The alarm went off and I sat up in bed. The hair on the back of my neck was damp and I felt sweaty all over. The covers on the bed were scrambled and it looked like a wrestling match had taken place there. I’d been dreaming about that stupid play again. It was just a dream, I reminded myself with relief. It’ll be another week before you make a fool of yourself on stage!

The phone rang and I jumped. Sheesh. Why did I ever agree to take this part?

“Robbie?” Stella said. “Are you there?”

“Yes, I’m here,” I said, clutching the phone. “I just woke up.”

“Rehearsal’s been moved up to 10:30. Which means you need to be on your way already. You got that message, right?”

“What message?”

“Did you check your answering machine?”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, not exactly.”

“Are you okay?” Stella asked cautiously.

“Not exactly,” I said. “I’m having second thoughts about this part. I can’t sleep at night and I’m a wreck.”

Stella laughed. “You’ll be fine. You’re doing great!”

“You don’t understand...”

“You’re a little nervous,” Stella said. “That’s all. And it’s very normal. You’ll do fine. Now get going and don’t be late.”

She hung up, leaving me there confused and uncertain. Where was a good case of laryngitis when I needed one?


Part III

Laura DeHart Young

Everyone at rehearsal stared at her. Some stared at her with bulging eyes. Others had their mouths open and looked like human flytraps.

“Listen, I’m telling you,” Robbie persisted. “This script makes no sense. It didn’t make any sense to me last week at dress rehearsal when Frank was blowing his lines and I couldn’t figure out if I had the next line not. I’ve had nightmares over this thing.” Robbie smacked the script down on her knee. “Surely a play about lesbians can’t be this complicated.”

“Are you saying lesbians aren’t complicated?” Sherise asked with a snort.

She was one of the writers and not at all happy.

“Sure we are. We’re more complicated than a Rubix cube. But the lesbian

community doesn’t want to hear about it at their local theatre group. Girls

just wanna have fun, after all.” Robbie forced a smile. No one smiled back.

“Haven’t any of you ever read a good, sexy lesbian romance or mystery novel?”

“We are way above that…that trash,” Sherise declared.

Murmurs of discontent filled the room.

“Hey, those books aren’t trash,” someone said.

“Hell, no. I’ve got a bookcase full of ‘em.”

“You know, Robbie just may have something here.”

“Rewrite!” a bunch of voices said in unison.

“And who’s got a copy of the new Bella romance?”

Intro Something Borrowed The Shopping Trip
Give the Girl A Hand The Wettest Spot in the World The Nutcracker Suite
Footsies With Tootsie Flirting 101 The Luggage Rack
The Intruder The Butch In Question Driving Ms. Binkie
That Rainbow Feeling The Long Ride Home In the Heat of the Day
8 Mile The Gang’s All Here Break a Leg!
It’s All In the Name Beware of Beeping Lesbians A Moving Experience