The Intruder


Part I

Therese Szymanski

“What the...?” Shelley said, holding the case of beer under her arm as she went to grab her recycling bin off the curb. It had been a long, 12-hour day at the office and the last thing she needed was to find that someone had stolen their garbage can. People could be such creeps.

Shelley was too tired to worry about this. Her live-in lover, Carol, was at the National Women’s Music Festival this weekend, and Shelley just wanted to kick back with a couple of beers and watch a movie. She just wasn’t going to worry about the missing garbage can.

She entered the house and made her way to the kitchen, her big yellow lab greeting her on her way. “Yeah, yeah, I know, you’re hungry. You’re such a dog!” she said, putting the beer on the floor as she went to Astro’s bowl to refill it. She was surprised he wasn’t really pissed at her for waiting so long on his dinner.

Her fingers were just about to the bowl when she realized there was still quite a bit of food in it. She looked back at Astro, who wagged his tail.

“Are you on a diet or somethin’?” she asked, wondering what was going on.

What was going on?

Leaving the cartons on the floor, Shelley quietly made her way to the back of the house where her and Carol’s bedroom was. The door to the room was closed.

Shelley went back to the kitchen to put away the beer, and that was when she found the note:

Hey Honey!

The beds were awful. I brought a

friend home with me.

Love and kisses, Carol.

Oh, so Carol had brought someone home with her, and now had this woman in the bedroom. Shelley was glad Carol was having a good time when she had to work such godawful hours. She didn’t have any problems with their open relationship.

What she did have a problem with was the fact that her toothbrush was in the bathroom connected to the master bedroom. The only way to get to it was through the bedroom Carol and the other woman were now in.

And there wasn’t a single other toothbrush in any other place in the house.


Part II

Peggy J. Herring

Shelley wasn’t sure who she was suddenly more miffed at -- Carol for seizing the master bedroom where both of their clothes and personal articles were kept -- or at herself for not insisting that both bedrooms and bathrooms be adequately prepared for such occasions.

She looked over at Astro and said, “Rut ro. Looks like I’m goin’ back to the store, boy.” She pet him on the head and picked up her keys. “Guard the house while I’m gone. They could rob us blind while your slutty mother is howling away at the moon in there.” Shelley chuckled and called him over with a whistle. “On second thought, you wanna go with me?” Astro wagged his tail as if he knew exactly what she had said. “Come on, boy. Let’s go pick us out a toothbrush.”

Just then from the corner of her eye Shelley saw a nude woman in the living room. And it’s not Carol, she thought. Oh, no. That’s definitely not Carol!


Part III

Laura DeHart Young

Just as Shelley realized that the naked woman in the living room wasn’t Carol, so did Astro. He snarled and took off running. The naked woman, eyes bulging with fear, hopped up onto the sofa and then onto the front windowsill. She wobbled there precariously on her tiptoes, hands clutching the curtain rod.

“Astro!” Shelley yelled, grabbing for the dog’s collar. Dog firmly in hand, Shelley said a polite, “Good morning.”

“Good morning,” came the weak reply.

“You must be Carol’s friend.”

“Yeah, that’s right. Julie.”

“Hi, Julie. Sorry about Astro. He’s not too fond of strangers.”

“That’s okay. He growled at me last night, too.”

Shelley gazed out the large living room window, partially blocked by Julie’s naked body. The morning sun flooded the room with warmth, promising another beautiful day. That’s when she noticed the line of cars stopped dead in the middle of the main street that ran in front of their house. “Say, you’re drawing a large crowd, “Shelley said. “We haven’t had this much excitement on our block in years.”

Julie glanced out the front window. About ten or twelve people were standing in the street leering at the naked body in the window. Several other people were hanging out their car windows. Julie let out a wail. “Oh, my God! Perverts!” She jumped down from the windowsill and onto the sofa, then ran down the first floor hallway.

“Say, what’s your hurry? Well, you come back and visit real soon now!” Shelley called after her. Astro growled one last time for effect. Shelley patted the dog’s head again. “Astro, let’s go for a walk. Something tells me our surprise guest will be gone real soon and I’ll be able to get my toothbrush after all.”


Intro Something Borrowed The Shopping Trip
Give the Girl A Hand The Wettest Spot in the World The Nutcracker Suite
Footsies With Tootsie Flirting 101 The Luggage Rack
The Intruder The Butch In Question Driving Ms. Binkie
That Rainbow Feeling The Long Ride Home In the Heat of the Day
8 Mile The Gang’s All Here Break a Leg!
It’s All In the Name Beware of Beeping Lesbians A Moving Experience